Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Growing Up

(Editor's Note: Thomas Cabernoch is a fellow godless Phoenician. This post was originally published at his personal website here. Read the rest of his writings here.)

By: Thomas Cabernoch

It's a 'growing up' thing, like how babies eat real food instead of a bottle after they get old enough.

I was a bright kid. I was an altar boy, Boy Scout, played baseball, went to karate and gymnastics, and attended Catholic school (nuns and all!).

I was pre-occupied with god. I felt awful about myself, and I wanted god to make it all go away. I used to pray constantly, and then berate myself for praying for personal gain (on things like sixth-grade math tests). I shoplifted a lot and then prayed about it. There was even some self-mutilation in there. Religion was supposed to fix all of it, but seemed to have no effect.

One day I when I was 12, I was riding my bicycle, doing a little thinking about it all. I wistfully decided that all psychic and ufo stories (which I had been collecting avidly) were probably horseshit. Witchcraft and magic were obviously also complete trash.

... and then ...

With no fanfare whatsoever, I turned my attention to god. It was completely obvious that the Bible had nothing on any other religion, and that all of them were lies.

And then I was free. The moment was no different from the previous one. Just me. No god there. There had never been a god there. The delusion was simply gone.

I took control of my life. I got a job (paperboy). I got in a couple fights. I focused on school. I met some friends. I learned that true honesty comes because of self-respect, not a duty to god. I found that achievement is the product of effort. I started developing into a person instead of a scared little child.

That moment changed my life. In some respects I feel it started my life.

6 comments:

peterfredson said...

Like you, when I was in my late teens I decided to take a bicycle trip from Wisconsin to Yellowstone National Park and from there to the tip of Tierra del Fuego, emulating Harry Franck. During the many arduous days of biking on plains, over mountains, in rain and snow, I came to the conclusion that all religion was fiction, the result of human imagination and wishful thinking. Perhaps more people ought to take up biking?

Life-Scenario said...

Hey Brent Rasmussen, I just came across your blog about Eating-Disorder as I was looking for more information on Eating-Disorder and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. Keep up the great work!

Personal Development said...

I just came across your blog as I was looking for more information on Wellness and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. Keep up the great work!

Motivation said...

Thanks for your great blog that will help me add knowledge to my own site on Optimal Wellness. Keep up the good work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!

Total Wellness said...

I was looking for information on Wellness Intelligence. Thanks for your great blog that will help me add knowledge to my own site on Wellness Intelligence. Keep up the good work!

Motivation said...

Thanks for your great blog that will help me add knowledge to my own site on Wellness Intelligence. Keep up the good work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!